wax    adamram




I fell into the sea today. And I was surprised by how warm the water was in the middle of November, warmer than on land, but then I remembered that I think Iíve read somewhere that when itís cold outside the waterís warm and vice versa, but maybe I just imagined that Iíve read this. Itís hard to know whatís real and whatís imaginary in the seconds after youíve fallen into the sea in the middle of November.


The funny thing is I donít remember falling into the sea. I just know that one second I wasnít in the sea, and the next second I was. It must have been even quicker than that because thereís no memory of falling. I remember feeling that it was more one continuous state of not being then being in the sea.


To be honest, I didnít really fall into the sea, I jumped. I like jumping into the sea so I jumped, and when I jumped into the sea I decided to believe that Iíd fallen into the sea.


Itís easy to say I jumped into the sea, but when I play it back in my mind I donít remember jumping, even though I know I jumped into the sea. I wasnít in the sea then, naturally, I was in the sea.


Of course I didnít jump into the sea. I mean, who in their right mind would jump into the sea in the middle of November. I was pushed into the sea, I remember now, but I donít know who pushed me into the sea, or why they pushed me into the sea.


Itís all come flooding back to me. I wasnít pushed into the sea, and I didnít jump into the sea. I always say you should always go with your first impulse - I fell into the sea today. I was sitting on the bus and 2 people behind me were having a conversation. One of them coughed and this threw me off balance, and I fell into the sea.


I am a compulsive daydreamer.